The Taiwan Ex-Pat Mitzvah Moment.

What would you do if you found a stranger sleeping on a mat outside a bar? First, you'd probably try and put him in a cab. Upon realization that said stranger had no money, no identification, and no idea where he lived or was staying, would you feed him to the wolves?

In most cases, the answer would be yes. My mother taught me never to talk to strangers. In North American culture we have been conditioned to be afraid of the unfamiliar. In Taiwan, if the unfamiliar speaks your language, that's sometimes be good enough for you. The ex-pat community here is pretty tight and goes to great lengths to help each other out in many ways. 

"Can I call you Tina Fey?" the guy sitting next to me asked, "because you're funny, you're hot, and you look like a secretary I want to have sex with." What a winner. I graciously ignored this half-assed attempt at flattery. He wandered off into the night, to slur his words in someone else's direction, I assumed. An hour or so later, I got a tap on the shoulder. "Is that your friend in the striped shirt?" Of course not. "Because he's passed out on the ground outside." Shit.

He had been abandoned by his friends and when we brought him inside to try and figure things out, the only responses he could give to our questions were, "I like apples," and "stop treating me like an immigrant!" We paper-scissor-stoned who got to take him home and put him up for the night. Nathaniel lost. After changing his mind about having an overnight guest, Rachel and I took this poor bloke from Saskatchewan and put him on our couch. When I emerged from my room at 2 the next afternoon, he was gone. Our TV and all other expensive household items were still there. We'll never see this kid again, and it was probably a pretty stupid idea to bring him home in the first place, but I'd like to think that someone out there would do the same thing for me if I were ever to allow myself to be put in such a situation, which I would never, of course. (Hi, mom.)

In any case, I think I've done my good deed for the week. Some would call it a mistake, some would call it a mitzvah. I think Mike, Rachel, Henry, Nathaniel and I are entitled to some good karma come our way soon.